A Little Bit Of Drama!

edited for reasons i am not going to explain just read the latest comments its more entertaining than the ***i started the thread with.

this now be the thread to post your love stories/advice and just chat about the subject in general

I gave up on dating in ffxi months ago. Aside from being 6000 miles away from most people who play, it just doesnt work. I'm asuming this was a in-game relationship not a real life one. I'm sorry to hear this happened :(

I've been through a similar thing, unless you're living with the person and are in a involved relationship with them you can never be sure of anything. I'm sure she likes you and maybe that was why she couldn't bring herself to tell you... of course I don't know what was going on in her head but if she was a good friend i'm sure it wasn't intentional to hurt you :(

Have you asked her why she did this?

we was never techinally together since she used the "not ready" line over and over and id like to believe it wasnt but recent actions make that impossible to believe im afraid :/ i just wanna know why ;; and yea i have asked her but she logs out on me almost every time i do ask.

There's nothing wrong with finding a partner to spend your time with and enjoy adventures with in game or even finding some real love and compassion for that person. After all they're human too. However, keep in mind that although this is more than a game for most people, the game itself is the only medium in which they exist.

I'm guilty of being gullible and thus getting burned more than once. Just don't take things with anyone too seriously nor go about giving away your precious hard earned in game items to someone you've never seen face to face.

I'm not saying an in game relationship cannot work or develop into further and more sincere relationship. I've known a few couples who have met in game and later met and ended up getting together irl. However, such a task takes great patience and effort on both sides to get to know each other on a more personal and intimate basis.

Long list of advice put short: live and learn, love and forgive, just don't toss your gil and items to anyone, nor get heartbroken over someone who will be nothing more than a video game character.

I've known a few people to give away millions of gil worth of stuff, even thier account to a girl they loved =/ sounds like you got lucky on that.

On the flip side I know people to have gotten married irl with people met in-game lol So I agree 100% with Artemicion. Hopfully she's realised her mistake and won't put someone else through what she's put you through...

PS: I love that pic Arte! =o

Speaking from the other point of view as a girl, here's my two cents:

I've encountered some people who have had the unfortunate luck of having some incredibly bad experiences in life, more so than the average human. I've had the opportunity to sit down with them and listen to those people's stories and express compassion, reaching out in a time when they most need comfort.

As a result, I have experienced 2 responses: We have created a strong bond of friendship in which the feelings of loyalty and love are present, but not in a romantic form (which is my own preference), or the other person develops a dependency on my kindness and begins to ask for a "closer or more serious relationship" with me, upon which I must use the old line, "I'm just not ready for a relationship."

To be honest, it does hurt me to have to reject their proposal--I do not want to seem as if I'm boasting, but I am just a generally compassionate person; I hate to see someone suffer without anyone supporting them emotionally. I have never been able to tell them this without hurting them, or even without reluctantly letting them think that "someday I'll change" and accept their proposal. To me, that's a subtle sign of disrespect for my own preferences, albeit I did reject their own preference to be in a relationship with me....

I'm not exactly sure, Leey, why she would be in a relationship with another man and still tell you she's "not ready;" that seems to be something you'd need to speak with her personally about. What I can recommend to not just you but for anyone wishing to court another: Find someone who has the same level of selfishness and selflessness as you do. You may wish to be with a certain person, but if they are not willing to give up as much as you are--or vice versa--then the relationship will, most likely than not, end.

I also agree with Celestinia and Artemicon--in game relationships do sometimes work, but rarely. I have made some of the BEST friends in my life in this game, but I have also seen many, many relationships come to a rocky end. Try not to trust so easily, but also be more than willing to extend a hand of kindness where it is needed. You'll find that you'll make better friends than girlfriends/boyfriends if you do so.

^^ Take care.

I can only guess that your persistence intimidates her. Not to sound offensive, but I feel I must be brutally honest here: You are coming off as too desperate >_< You are asking too much of her, more than she is willing to give. It's best to {Pull back.} and let things cool down before attempting to talk to her again.

i know how this is. a girl i dated in the game would pull this every time i asked a normal personal question. normaly just asking like, plans for the day. (figured she was tired or w/e but got so repeditve i grew sick of it =p)

you gotta be really carefull on FFXI w online dateing, I know a few ppl playing female chars just to get items, gil, free junk [one admited of pretending on Odin. to be a 16 yr girl, an got 500k gil for a photo that was really his nease ] so ya you gotta be carefull.

oh. ya forgot to add :P I knew her for about 2 years befor the dateing thing happend

Ya, I gave up online dating lol...Kinda pointless and it will turn out that 90% of the people you find on there will lie to you one way or another. The distance thing sucks too =P

[quote=Toabea. The distance thing sucks too =P[/quote]
NAaa! /ma Tele-<players name house> problem solved ^^

MPK her bf and give her an autographed Love Chocolate.

This is sick >.< I know i'm a guy playing a girl char but i've never used it to gain anything in-game or mess with guys heads D=

Internet relationships do work. I’m proof of it.

I met my girlfriend when I was 14, in a Yahoo Go Fish chat room. (Sardine Can, hehe) She was 13 at the time. Now we had everything stacked against us, we lived in different states, we both were poor (Meaning no traveling to meet often), puberty and high school influences (School, other guys/girls), and of course, parents who hated the other little brat that their child was dating. (My mom hated her, her dad hated me)

We had to go through a lot. And what’s more, we had to go through all of it over the internet. There was no real life interaction, and at any point in time we could have easily broken it off and just moved on. But despite all the hardships we went through, we prevailed.

I’m 21 now, she’s 20. We’ve been together coming up on 8 years on Feb. 2nd. I’ve moved to WA to be with her, and she has moved in with me. I found my soul mate over the internet. And boy is she a keeper. We both play FFXI, regularly, she likes to watch Bleach and Naruto, Stargate Atlantis and Legend of the Seeker.. we couldn’t possibly be anymore capatible.

So yea, internet relationships do work. Though ours was probably at the worst possible time in our life because of all the obstacles we had to go through, it woulda been much easier if we met as adults. But then we wouldn’t have this awesome story to tell everyone. 

Love you Abri!

thats distrubing

Up to this point in your message, I thought you were a girl.

You should try to be a little more manly if you want better luck with women. You wouldn't be attractive to a girl that acted like a man, would you?

My advice? Go out and meet some guy friends and spend time with them doing guy things. You'll learn to be tough and not get all depressed and hurt over some chick, lol.

Internet relationships wether fantasy or real never work. Simply put. You can't get attached to someone you can't physically see or touch.

*Reads thru kind of boring thread..*

Wait... Celestinia is a guy? O.oa

Spoken with true ignorance.

Re-read my above post please, I never met Abrianna, nor even saw her picture (And vice versa) for atleast 3 years into our relationship.

- Hommie sounds like you scared her off. She was probably just trying to be a friend, and you fell for her to quickly.

- If she wanted to use you, you wouldn't have gotten your stuff back and she could have easily transferred to another world, and change names.

- As far as having another guy in the story, sounds like she was on a rebound... but unfortunately they worked things out, and she left you and went back to him XD

It happens.. move on...

You have a relationship with everyone you deal with on a regular basis.

The question is, what type of relationship? You obviously can't have a sexual relationship with someone you don't have physical access to have sex with, but not everyone is primarily interested in sex. There are many people in ffxi who I am really fond over and feel attached to, but wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole.

I'm one of them <3

I should have put romantic my fault.

Good job you must be a real loser not to meet anyone in real life at first.

I would touch you with a 5 foot pole. <3

Quit being a douchebag.

Face it, I found love over the net and it blossomed into a real life relationship. Quit arguing.

Wow Crosis, just wow.

I'm not being a douchebag i'm just speaking openly.

Depends on if you are after just any girl or the right one.

I make good money, have a nice house, and have beautiful children so there are lots of girls I have access to but none that I actually want. The problem is that I have standards and only want a girl who is not fat and not crazy, those standards may seem low.. but in Oklahoma they are not :P

I don't go out of my way to meet people online, but I wouldn't feel bad if I met someone to my taste.

If you're just looking to get laid and will take any girl, I would agree that you would have to be pretty lame to not be able to accomplish that in person. The thing is, not everyone is you or has the same desire as you so you shouldn't judge people by that.

I can actually agree with you there. As for the guy above i highly doubt you were looking for the right one at age 14. If your a little older and the dating scene isn't your thing ok i can see expanding options to as far as using the internet.