Young Man Raised By Lesbian Couple [video]

I figured this would be of interest to folks here.

I do not know the young man in this video, at all. However, it's obvious that he is charismatic, intelligent, well-spoken, grounded, etc.

I personally do know two different lesbian couples that gave birth to baby boys, and they are raising the boys themselves. As far as I can see, they're doing just as good of a job raising the boys as any heterosexual parents could do. I do have concerns that the boys may lack for a male role model as they get older ... but the young man in this video could put my worries to rest about that topic.

Your thoughts?

You mean homosexuals aren't inherently evil monsters who devote their lives to spreading sin and homosexuality throughout the world to appease their lord and master, Satan?

Could the religious nut jobs be wrong for once?

Possibly, but don't tell them that!

Switch the situation around this young guy turned out to be a right *** would you be posting this a video of him then.

Some people will grow up good or bad regardless of who brings them up.

Not takeing a dig at the lesbian couple here either just makeing a point.

This is where my concern is. I'd have the same concern for a boy who's father died in a car crash (or in my case was an abusive alchoholic that my mother left).
Being a child of a single mother I can attest to the constant need to "compensate" ones manliness. The lack of knowledge in sports, body (oh god puberty was a nightmare... were lucky no one got pregnant), and intramale ettiquette. I would only assume that a boy raised by two females (of any sexual orientation) might have similar hang-ups. I also worry about the parents "indoctrinating" their child instead of letting them grow up having their own conclusions, but i recognize that that is my own opinion and based only on feelings and my reaction to my upbringing.

also, inb4 people on both sides start implying that any two lesbian parents will raise a child in the exact same manner as anothter two.

Except you can't indoctrinate someone's sexual orientation.

If you could, you wouldn't have priest having sex with little boys.

No, I wouldn't be posting a video in that case. The "nature vs. nurture" question regarding child development is old and unanswerable, but most experts concur that both genetic and rearing/parenting/environment factors play an important role in who we become as adults.

The point of this video isn't to make ANY sort of claim that children raised by gay couples are superior. The point is to demonstrate that 2-parent gay couples have the potential/ability to raise children just as well as "traditional" families.

Conservative pundits and politicians go out of their way to espouse the importance of "preserving the sanctity of marriage" and "American family values", blah, blah, blah.
The bottom line is there simply is no evidence to support the hypothesis that gay couples present any sort of threat to our children. The only thing at risk are individuals' needs to maintain the status quo. Fearing the unknown is a mark of mental and emotional weakness.

What is so sacred about marriage though when so many people cheat and divorce each other. If 2 people genuinely love each other they should have the chance as well. If they have to fight for the right to be married odds are they will probably stay together and have a tighter bond then those who just run off to freakin Vegas.

Getting married through a drive through is so sacred..

People shouldn't have to have someone actually live through an experience to believe it, that's the problem with "seeing is believing" ***. You can only see so far what's in front of you.

About the second paragraph, it's more of a political cover/*** screen about giving them the same tax benefits as straight couples, very few people actually care about what is what but rather the money is what makes it a hot topic.

In the American society it's hypocritical what should go and what shouldn't, if the majority approves then it's ok! And if it's not the majority then it's most likely wrong until some 50 years later where the minority is the majority and overwrites the past legislation. It's a two way street it'll get there eventually like legalizing marijuana.

I watched this last night and thought wow this kid is better off than most of the people I know. I am not saying heterosexual couples are bad or raise their children wrong but if you look at statistics divorce, adultery, and abuse can scar a child much more than having two same sex parents. I am so glad this kid spoke up because he is so put together it just may open the eyes of some (not all but maybe some).

Wow. That guys a great speaker, for sure, and seems very, very sharp - I listened twice.

And I think that sucks. It's ridiculous that it's necessary for someone like him - or anyone - to have to try to show idiots that their life, their family, is loving or is wholesome or worthwhile. To try to prove that they deserve the same things as everyone else.

Because, well, my parents are straight. And I dropped out of college not even half way to my engineering degree. And I'm not the speaker he is. (I've got my good parts, though!) But it's never even been a remote possibility that someone considered my family... not good enough, I guess would be the phrase. It's insane.

And I don't know how or where to start when talking about this - everyone I know, across all generations, is pretty open minded and just... fair. I feel like it's like trying to tell someone that up is up - it's such a "no ***" thing...

So very frustrating, and heartbreaking for the kid (he is pretty much that) to have to go through this.

There surely is something to be said for the presence of a good male role model - but thing of it is, is that a lack of such isn't unique to lesbian couples. Nor is it necessarily even the case with them - for me, despite having a caring, responsible, hard working male in my house, my main male role models were not my father. And, a cheating, abusive, scummy father wouldn't be a good role model, either. I think it's a concern to have, sure, but it applies equally to everyone.

The very shittiest thing, though, is that young Mr Wahls probably didn't even change everyone's mind there. :\

The idea of not having a male role is kinda wrong because a father is not the only possiblity for that. An older friend, uncle, grandfather, teacher or even just a friend of the family can fill that roll. In the past we have just kinda funnaled that towards being the fathers resposability.

My only qualm with this, is a father is (should be) there everyday, to have influence in every facet of life. An uncle, or mentor outside the home isn't going to have the omniscient presence in that child's life. In a heterosexual home, the child is exposed to both viewpoints on every matter in life (be they large or small points). In a homosexual home, that influenced is delayed until the next time the child is around that male (or female) presence, and by that point there is an opportunity that their forming hypothesis is skewed due to an overflow of only one type of stimuli.

The same can be said for those of a one parent home. Lots of one parent home children have great influences of the sex that is missing from the home, but nearly all of them will tell you they lacked something and grew up to be a different person by not having whichever parent around.

In my opinion, the entire argument of gays not being allowed to marry is simple discrimination. Gays are people just like everyone else, and discriminating against them is wrong. Period.

The arguments against gay marriage, as I understand it, are:
Breakdown of the sanctity of marriage
Being somehow unnatural
Inability to raise children
Biblical reasons.

Now, all of these arguments can be fairly easily destroyed. Marriage isn't all too holy when divorce rates are what, 50%? and people can cheat on each other and marry and divorce as many times as they please. Homosexuality is not unnatural at all, in fact many animals in nature enjoy such relationships. A child raised by a homosexual couple has the same chance to turn out great as a child raised by a traditional couple, as seen in this video. And if they want to argue that gay couples can't raise children, then they are also going to have to argue that single parents can't raise children. I think if anyone took that step they'd get blasted all the hell because single parents are extremely common.

Now, about the Biblical one. If you have ever argued against gay marriage based on the Bible, I am going to (first) be amused and (second) ignore you. This is why. If you have ever eaten a ham and cheese hot pocket, bacon, sausage, or ribs, you are against the Bible. If you do not kick your wife out of the house and make her camp away from you every time she is on her period, you are against the Bible. If you have ever worn clothes with mixed fabrics, you are against the Bible. If you have ever said 'damn,' you are against the Bible. If you have ever seen a pretty woman and thought "do want!" you are against the Bible. If you have ever seen something awesome in a store or a commercial and thought "do want!" you are against the Bible. If you are against selling your children into slavery, you are against the Bible. If you are against violence and genocide, you are against the Bible. If you have ever gotten a tattoo, you are against the Bible. This list could go on for pages and pages, but you get the point.

The fact is that the rules of the Bible are seriously unrealistic. Not a single one of us here has followed all of them, and most of them don't even make sense. Maybe they made sense 2000 years ago, but I wasn't alive back then so I don't really care. The Bible is NOT a reason to discriminate against homosexuals.

It is my personal belief that the real reason people discriminate against gays is because they are squeamish about the idea of two men having sex. Well so what? If no one is trying to force you to do it, who bloody cares if two men have sex?

Exactly.

Study after study show one trend: a stable nuclear family generally produces the best outcome for a child when compared to single parent households (and I think foster home settings, but I can't be sure). The sex of the parents has little to do with it. People like to claim that you need to have a heterosexual couple, but nope.

The worst I've honestly heard a child of a same sex couple experience was a little bit more bullying and a few awkward moments where a friend's father would have to teach them how to shave and other such things or mother to teach them the lady things.

Edit: Elana, you're the type of guy who seems to read up these things. Do you recall hearing about the studies on how the nuclear family in general is lacking as compared to the 'takes a village' style of raising children? I feel like I read something about that, and I feel like if we went a bit more back to the village style that there would never be a lack of male/female guidance.

I agree that the Bible thing and the sanctity of marriage stemming from that have no grounds. It used to be that Christians had a very low divorce rate, and had a leg to stand on in this argument.

Today, the non-Christian divorce rate is 51%
The Christian divorce rate is 51%

In short, Christians are doing just as much to sully the sanctity of marriage as any one else is. There is no more "holiness" in those of professed faith, they are just as bad (if not worse) examples of how selfish people can be.

I already stated my one reason why I think it puts undue, greater hardship on the child. That is all I have to say.

It really just boils down to discrimination based on superstitious hullabaloo that should rightfully left in the past. Question anyone hard enough and sure enough it roots itself back to that.

With so many kids up for adoption, we could use any warm and welcoming hands willing to take up the tremendous task of raising a child, hetero or homosexual. It isn't about what you are, its about what you can do to produce a child that turns out to be a conscious, law-abiding, intelligent and productive member of society.

Too many people take the gift of reproduction for granted in our global society.

I understand and respect your viewpoint, but I think the only reason that there is more stress and hardship on the child is because people today are so discriminatory and they still consider gay marriage unnatural when really, it's not. So yes, the child of a gay couple might have a harder time with bullies and such in school-- but the fault there is NOT that the child's parents are homosexual. The fault is that no one taught the bullies that it's perfectly natural and harmless to be gay. And that's not going to change unless we stand up as a society and allow gay marriage because that, more than anything, would send a loud and clear message that it's ok to be different.

Amen


Agreed that the hardship is mostly caused by judgement. Judgement is something humans should never exercise. Unfortunately, they do all the time.

Except, i didn't say anything about sexual orientation. I was actually implying that the parents might have prejudices based on the unjust treatment the homosexual community has received over the past 30+ years (i realize it's been longer than that, i just can only speak for my lifespan). It's cool though if you wanna put words in my mouth.

I also appreciate the fact that immediately after Ella posting this you slander the people of faith (and of course ella +1 high fives you for it). I happen to be a christian and yet I would be fully supportive of the environment this boy was raised in. I judge parents by the qualities that actually make them parents (mental stability, maturity, financial stability etc) not by who they decide to sleep next to.

But you know.... your slam against religion and your joke about priests having sex with little boys are so much better of a contribution to this discussion than me offering my personal perspective on the ONLY thing i could see lacking from this childs upbringing. You know.... those religious people are the close minded, rude people. Theyre the ones who would make unfair generalizations and would make unprovoked, underhanded comments in a discussion before anyone had a chance to even process what the OP had said. Bravo.

How does the prejudice differ from someone being raised by Black parents? Jews? Hispanic? Korean? Chinese? Polish?

Parents are always going to have their own beliefs that may or not may not tamper with your own belief systems as you come of age. My parents have old fashioned views (more silly than destructive imo) on other races yet I completely reject those ideas in favor of seeing the world with my own eyes and reaching my conclusions.

Does this mean every person will go contrary to their parents? No, but it means you aren't constrained by what they may or may not believe. Homosexual parents may easily have a seething disgust for heterosexuals but they could also be laid back and adopt a "deal with it" mentality. This is really no different than any other group of parents.

This of course assumes they aren't abusive and actually allow you to draw your own conclusions which is another issue entirely.

Blah blah etc.

My bad, I misread.

With that said, you don't get to dictate what's considered a positive contribution to the discussion. I don't think anyone can argue against the fact that most of the world's conflicts, wars and bigotry, in any time period in the history of humanity, originate from and is the direct result of religion.

If you really were a person of faith, you'd know that your faith demands you to be a bigot against homosexuals. The fact that you aren't means you don't take your faith seriously.

Good for you.

The sooner humanity grows up and gives up their imaginary friend, the better off we'd be. It's sad and pathetic that people in 2011 still believe in magic powers.

of course there is no threat in homosexual couples raising children, I mean this is a no F'ing brainer.

I love how homophobic people think that homosexuals are this group of totally evil shadow agents for Dr. Evil that want nothing more then to spread havoc and discord.

it's just people that get freaked out when things are different then their little narrow bubble of thought.

I still think it's hilarious how some people would rather have children spend their entire childhood in an orphanage or passed around in foster homes then to be in a stable family unit.

no offense you're giving humanity WAAYYYY too much benefit of the doubt .

If we didn't have religion people would still find a way to separate themselves and be scared of/hate other groups.

Humanity just needs to accept and embrace other peoples differences, making religion go away won't solve that.

I said I was done going into detail about my faith, but here goes...

At no point of reading the Bible, my teachings from mentors or the church; have I ever been subject to the idea that I must judge other's based on their tendencies. Does homosexuality go against what I think is right? Yes. Is it because someone or the Bible told me so? No. It's because I'm a man, and I get turned on by women, not by men. Therefore, it is confusing for me to understand how a man could get turned on by another man. I have those parts, I'd rather play with something different.

As far as love. I love people of both sexes. As far as a partner though, I feel more complete and a different love for my wife than I ever would say my best male friend. I love having him around, and get a lot of human intellectual contact from him, but I would never think to live with him indefinitely, raise children together with him, nor have physical contact of an intimate nature with him.

How do you create and raise a monster? Don't discipline your child. Don't teach him or her respect for others. Don't teach them to be considerate. Don't teach them to work hard for their accomplishments and accept what result becomes the end product.

Seriously, as long as you teach your child to be a decent human being, children can be raised by almost any responsible, nurturing party regardless of genetic relation, age, sexual orientation, or what have you. Besides, if the homosexual community doesn't want heterosexuals telling them to be straight, why would they try to force their child to be gay?

Grats to that guy for being intelligent and seemingly well put together, but it's not a new societal development for children to be raised predominantly by women.

People get so worked up about how others choose to live their lives, I swear...

I personally do not understand why this topic even comes up in political debates, voting, etc. I'm pretty sure the largest reason against same sex marriage is based on religious beliefs and the sanctity of marriage and whatnot ... what happened to separation of church and state?

I am all for same sex marriages and made that well known when I was getting calls about Prop 8 when I lived in California. I think it is ridiculous that people are against this, when the couples I know are only asking to have the same rights.

I work for a pretty generous employer that allows us to carry insurance for our life partners, even if we aren't married (this applies to same sex and not same sex couples). The only problem is, tax wise, it is not handled in the same manner because of the marriage issue. Even though my best friend pays for her partners insurance, she has problems when it comes to hospital visits because they are not family.

The whole issue is just makes me /facepalm every time it comes up.