FFXI And Dating!!!

Meeting friends or love interests in the game doesn't mean you have no life or that you can't do any better. It doesn't make you sad or pathetic. Doesn't mean you are ugly or fat. It simply means you are human and you found a connection with someone else through a mutual hobby. Really...not much different than people meeting at a bar, sporting event, or whatever hobby/social outing you want to imagine.


Wonderfully stated Kalekka!

What the heck is a "DoofNut?" That is too funny (*^.^*)

It doesn't mean anything. I make up words for insults because I think hearing the same old insults every day is lame. Plus my insults are always much more mild, because when I call you a doofnut it's more in a joking manner so instead of making people mad, it makes people laugh and eases tension. So.... I like to say doofnuts, doofballs, nutcases, squeagy monkey, turdling, nerfnuts, and stuff like that, instead of your average everyday insults. /blush just ignore it, it doesn't mean anything.

I like your style Liela ;) GG

@ OP
I if you are able to find someone that you really feel like you connect with and still feel strongly about them once together in RL, then why not?
I personally never thought I could get that close to someone over a game or the internet but I too know people who have so I'm sure it's possible.

Considering majority of guys will feed women any *** they can for a little cyber action or bragging rights to RL friends. Trust is something that lacks in this game. Save yourself the trouble. It leads to ***majority of the time.
Unless you're lucky. But luck has a tendency to run out on you.

Mrrr, I do not know about the majority, or maybe not the crowds I hang with. Most the guys are know are old school (Honest, Loyal, Kind) Husbands and Fathers.

But I can share that I am highly disappointed in the quality of young men coming to the dating front in the last few years, and even more fearful now that my eldest is 11 and is starting to think boys are cute O.o.

I am not Old (Only 30) And a single dad of 3 girls, but I think like stated many times. Its about the people involved. Trust is hard no matter in game or RL. and Love is greater then all things when its true and sincere.

This ^

and I keep reading your name as Handy Manny...

My Real name is Andy,lol. And I am a Handy Man by profession.

But yeah I get that a lot. (*^.^*)

I feel ya man. I got 3 daughters of my own & my status is "whothefuckknowsanymore". We men make mistakes & I did that a lot. But Majority of guys (2 come to mind) that I found out a lot about today and what they are doing now, they have done to other women as well. In the same exact way and there's nothing I can do cuz she's too ignorant to realize it. Cuz why would she believe someone she is mad at when that douche bag can just tell her what he knows she wants to hear? Majority of young men have no morals at all. Doesn't matter to them if the woman is single, engaged or even married. If they see an opening to get that woman's attention they go for it. Regardless if that couple has kids or w/e. Home wreckers. Oh Women do it as well but it's more common in guys.

True, but then again many young women do not either. Life has become the "ME" and the "Now" for many. I have a very close and intimate relationship with my girls which is odd to some, but then again I am Hispanic and grew up being kissed on the lips and hugged often. Very affectionate.

Way off the original subject but not to much:

Do you think if parents in general shared a deeper relationship with there children that the young would be this way?

And this goes back to dating, because many young men and woman that I often work with through church do these things (Casual sexual dating combined with abusive and self destructive behavior) because they feel lonely or undirected.

Parents lose sight of things at times. God knows I did as a husband & a father. Which I do believe will make an impact on the children or childs future. Many of todays youth is screwed up like it is because when things got tough between the parents they gave up and divorced. Instead of keeping the oaths that they made as a married couple to stick it out through thick and thin for better or for worst. And be the example to those kids that even in bad times their parents didn't give up on each other. I believe it's all about morals. Which is what I want my daughter's to learn.

Kudos, keep your head up man I knwo being a single dad is tough.

Blessings to ya:

May the road rise to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back,

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

The rains fall soft upon your fields and,

Until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Sorry Andy I strayed from the question. No, I think if both parents contribute to a deep relationship with their kids and set examples of love and that even with loves imperfections and rough times kids now would have a better moral standing. And wouldn't do things like treat women like objects or treat men like sugar daddies. And especially young single guys would respect the fact that if a woman is married he shouldn't go around playing head games no matter what just for his attempt at cyber fun and ego stroking.

Nice to know there are decent people in this world still. Because I am losing hope. And I honestly don't know what to do any more.

After watching the movie "Gamer", the stigma hasn't been more true than that.

Well, I guess if you're too ugly/socially-inept/HELP I AM TRAPPED IN 2006 PLEASE SEND A TIME MACHINE, e-dating is for you.

Though I never thought I would say something like this meeting on ffxi was better for me then casually meeting someone in my town. Xeon got to know me as a good friend long before we dated, fast forward two years and we decided to try things out. forward again and it was love at first sight. jump to 08 and hes left the army, moved to be with me and were married.2010 we have a beautiful baby boy and still happily in love.
Not everyone is who they seem to be on this game but you can still get a good feeling on what they are like regardless

Xeon once told me due to the ammount the army moves you it can be very difficult to setle down and meet someone, and I think alot of army men would agree to this.
what is a benefit of meeting in a place like this? well assuming your not really a man pretending to be a girl, trying to get people to buy you ***, you get to know someone for how they are, and the actions you take vs how they looked the first time you met, and judging off of that.

:o Your name seems familiar. Did he make a YouTube video of the two of you awhile back?

I might be wrong but, if I'm right, that was such a cute video he made.

EDIT: Sorry, had this posted under the wrong name. >.<

Sorry, had to post it. /blush

Currently "Thid Party" through my second couple expierence and let me tell you it's pretty obnoxious. Good for them, sure but damn it... ._.


Ohshi...am I ontopic? >_>

ive met a few ppl that became couples on ffxi and moved on to rl romance or even marriage. even though ppl will judge and say its not normal or taboo, i think its wonderful if someone finds love online. we all deserve to be happy, doesn't matter if its on a game or rl.

In my experiences (both good and bad), I'd have to say that the best relationships come when you are not looking. That's always easier said than done, unless you have so much going on in your life that you don't really have the time to sit and think about relationships.

The more you think about having someone, the more that thought comes to mind whenever you interact with someone. Always wondering if they could be a partner, and rushing to take a budding friendship to the next level so you don't miss a potential opportunity. That's just asking for trouble.

I believe the saying is "friends make the best lovers," and it takes a bit of time to find a true friend.

Didn't you have a separate thread about not knowing what to do :p ?

I met my fiance, soon to be husband on FFXI. :) I joined a linkshell that he was in and it started off as me "being a ***" to everyone as he recalls, and he was intrigued by me? So, he broke the ice between us and we started talking and became friends, then eventually became BF/GF, just in the game. Then we started using ventrilo/teamspeak after ~3 1/2 months of "dating", then after about ~6 months we exchanged phone numbers. I was in school from 9-4 and he was at work 9-4:30, so we would text each other throughout the day, then we would both get home and get on FF to "hangout" since we couldnt IRL. We never went on "dates", i kind of thought that was HELP I AM TRAPPED IN 2006 PLEASE SEND A TIME MACHINE lol. We did however pretty much do everything together, exp, missions, quests, stand at our spot in front of the moghouse in WG and pretend to be AFK when we were really on the phone talking, etc. We had been planning to see each other so finally after 2 yrs he came to visit me (with my parents approval since i was still in HS), he flew from FL to TX, visited for spring break, then went back. Then again he came to visit me for my prom. My mom didnt really like the idea of me seeing a guy online, she didnt really trust him either. I know its a dumb idea but, if he spent more then $3000 dont you think hes serious about our relationship? So, i finally graduated HS and i went to live with him in FL. Weve been living together 9 months now and we should be getting married this week. ^^ Idk what to say about other people dating on FF, if you feel its real, go with it, that person could be your soulmate, if you feel its not worth it, screw it, theres tons of people to date on FF lol. I just see way too many people on FF, especially girls, that just get with someone and uses them for gil, items, etc. Im glad my sister got me into this game, i never wouldve met the man im going to spend the rest of my life with. :) <3

I just wanted to say I agree with everything Israfel pretty much had to say. I'm currently in an relationship with a guy I met via the game. We also both started out as just friends that hung out alot in the game. Infact I use to find him a bit obnoxious and annoying at times when I first met him >_>, hes one those old school players, you know the kind that had to walk Beaudecine Glacier both ways, no shoes, and hearing bout everything when he started in game goes "When I started playing..." and ends with how it was so much better then than now. Anyways XD we both just started out as friends on the game, but what made me like him more was the fact that in those conversations we found out we had alot in common (music, beliefs, food tastes, movies, etc.). Now we spend more time talking on MSN, the phone, and ventrilo than we do ingame.

We're also not one those annoyingly lovey-dovey couples that have to rub their relationship in your face. I'm all for affection and being proud of your relationship, but there is also a point where I'd rather not watch you cyber in LS chat XD. While pretty much everyone knows me and him are together, they also know we're both fine with doing things without each other. I've known quite a few those online couples who refuse to do anything unless their bf or gf can come and if they dont want to, they'll never finish said Mission/NM/etc. because of their bf/gf. Some I've seen reach to the point not wanting to even leave their MH until said person is logged on. I just never understand the point of holding yourself back like that.

But yeah mine lives in UK, and im currently in the US. We're on that stage of going visit each other, but due to a our financial issues (netheir of us exactly rich ><;), we know its going be harder than your average relationship. Which why I agree with what Israfel said. In alot of ways you have to work so much harder to make an online relationship work. You have to deal with the issues of trust, when are you going to meet them, wanting to able to just touch and hold them, stigma against it when you tell people irl who mock you (which I don't care, as long as im happy what it matter what they think?), and various other things that don't exactly occur with an irl relationship. Not to say they aren't as hard or require as much attention as irl relationship. Just that in alot ways you have to make some sacrifices that'd never be made with irl one. I can't tell you how many times I've had a crappy day and come home and just wish he was there physically to vent and get a hug from. I've dated irl as well, infact the reason I found this game was due to an ex of mine who introduced me to it. But after that relationship went to hell, and I found someone who not only do I have more in common with, but is sweeter, kinder, and more understanding than that rl guy ever was, its amazing thing to find. And yes I know its easy to fake your words online and say what people want to hear. But its just as easy to do that irl as well, my ex was living proof of that one.

Anyways, sorry for such a long post im guilty of having too much to say as well XD. I think online dating can work if both couples are mature, honest, and willing to take the risks and chances of such a relationship. For whats it worth if you meet someone you care about and fall for, I think nothing should have to hold you back from that. And if your willing to wait and make it work then more power to you. I think when it all comes down to it, its not so much whether online dating or irl dating is better, its all basically on how good and honest the people in that said relationship are. Same issues can be had with both situations, the same problems such as cheating and lying. So its all down to how true you are to that person you portray yourself to be. Atleast thats my 2 cents XD.

Well posted, I let a chuckle out at the sight of that. ;)

Here's a topic: It is acceptable for men to date woman who are single mothers, but why do women shy away so quickly from men who are single father's?

due to the nature of the video I shall link it...
Gamer Virtual Club Scene

I hope this happens to all of you.

I'm just wondering, when you start "seeing" someone ingame how are you sure of it that he/she is not seeing someone else already irl at that point?

Irl you get to know a person, their friends, their family, in short everyone close to them before committing to eachother in a serious way.

Let me ask you(those that posted their experiences of FFXI originated relationships) beyond your obvious love/affection for the person what other practical ways do you use for getting to REALLY know someone?

I know you talk, which is fine. But I'm a firm supporter of the saying "Actions speak louder than words."