Question For The Miltary And/or Law Savvy

Had a guy in Cannes, France get completely plastered. The problem was that the carrier was too big to pull up pier side, so we anchored off shore and had to ride liberty boats to and from the ship. So, this drunk moron, rode the liberty boat and proceeded to puke all over the side of the boat. The french operator came out the pilot house to start cursing at the guy in french. So, feeling bad, the idiot took off his only shirt (to clarify he is now bare chested) and proceeded to clean up his vomit with the shirt. After he finished he looked at his shirt, the vomit, and his self and realized he now has to cross the quarterdeck with a puke covered shirt in his hand while topless. Luckily his friend had on a outer shirt with a white t under it. He gave the drunk the outer shirt while he was wearing the white undershirt. So now, the group had to cross the deck with their buddy holding a puke filled shirt, still barechested with his button up borred shirt open, and his buddy with only a white undershirt. The OOD chewed em out a bit and sent them to their racks the rest of the evening.

Right after basic I had a pass. Went into town and got some booze. I was hanging out with some plp I met and the cops came checking IDs. I was a minor. Showed them my I'd and they said go back to your room. I was causeing no problems though. Think they just felt I was celebrating and let me go.

oh god the good ole days LOL had that happen to me and some other guys when we were in port in Hong Kong on my last westpac ('96 before it got returned to china) oh man, lets just say my wedding ring is sitting in the bottom of Kowloon Bay. and yes it was on purpose lol. was one of the most liberating feelings tossing that thing with a boat full of chinese girls looking and laughing and cheering. love those days.

we the military are hereby highjacking this thread for our random funny stories from our time in the service!!!

mmuhhahahahahaaa

used to have new guys stand watch on the sponson (kind of like a porch on the side of the ship) and wait for the "Mail Buoy."

also used to tell them that the netting on the smoking sponson was to keep the "sea bats" out.

Clarifications on the subject... there are limits to what can be lied about

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=622703

Unforgettable memories of youth, rock music, service to country, discipline, friendship, hardship, booze, BEAUTIFUL women ( or ladyboys ) and the enchantment of the red light districts at port around the world.

I remember once I had to go on a ship, I am a landy so I was like "really? A ship" and my platoon commander was like "They have women!" and I was like "Sign me up!". So off I went to HMS LOLOL to go on a two week sail somewhere or another and as I got to the ship 7pm at night I was escorted to my "Digs" and low and behold 20 seconds after he left this rather large woman of middle age burst into my room. She was as pissed as they come and she smiled at me with glazed over eyes and said. "You are fit" and proceeded to vomit all over my deck pass out and start to choke on her own vom.

As I continued to support the lass'es head and begin postural drainage I looked at the vomfest and said "Thank you sir for the women you have brought me you ****."

The following two weeks was not much better and I ended up staying in the Falklands for like 3 months.

True story.

That's all? Puking and getting chewed out by the OOD, pfft come across the QD and see someone in the clam on drunk watch lol. That happened when I was in Cannes back in 2005, seen a chief in it. But no ship can pull pier side there, I was on a DDG

I did a nice little WestPac with an expeditionary unit and one of our ports was the country of Thailand. While on the ship, the guys just couldn't stop talking about this little town called Pattaya. I'm like okay, cool, let's go check this place out after they secured us for liberty. After a chaotic road trip zig-zagging through the frenzy of cars and scooters, my group of buddies finally reach Pattaya and we establish ourselves at a go-go bar. This place is swarming with beautiful young thai ladies dressed in extremely seductive attire. We initiated "operation shady ops". We had saved up so much money from the deployment and just started ordering drinks nonstop. Hell, we rang the bar bell numerous times and bought the whole bar a drink. Every Marine is piss drunk, each with a beautiful lady on his arm. Happy endings followed :) . Not for Sergeant Reezer though, who unknowingly brought back a ladyboy to the room and started making out with him. After that, he was forever known as "Reezer the man pleaser" amongst the Marines in the company.