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Teacher turns the tables on school "bully"..
Bismarck.Ramyrez
Server: Bismarck
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Posts: 4746
By Bismarck.Ramyrez 2012-06-20 11:50:09
Not to mention the fact that if people are constantly making fun of you, using derogatory language, telling you how worthless you are or whatever, spreading lies or other false information about you to humiliate you...they've not done anything "wrong" to provoke an altercation, by the law's standards.
You fight them, you're (again, rightfully, under the law) charged with assault.
Server: Valefor
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By Valefor.Slipispsycho 2012-06-20 11:50:35
So the question would be.. Has anyone replying currently even been bullied? If so what have you does to stop it? because im using real life true stories. and if you would like a full picture i'd be happy to provide one. Valefor.Slipispsycho said: »I love the "if you didn't let it happen, then it wouldn't happen" mentality I'm seeing in here now.. You might as well be justifying the bullying, that's just how ridiculous that mentality is to me.
I was bullied, I did everything everyone ever said one after another and I was still being bullied.. I've fought and won, I've fought and lost, I've had people larger than the bully stand up to the bully on my behalf and give them a taste of their own damn medicine, threefold, I've told adults, I've talked to them to figure out what their problem is with me, I've ignored them.. Etc etc..
I didn't 'just let it happen', it happened anyways.
I only spent a couple of months in high school (and that was me deciding to go back to school after I was 18).. By 6th or 7th grade I was removed from school and put on homeschooling because the ***just wasn't stopping.
Leviathan.Syagin
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By Leviathan.Syagin 2012-06-20 12:06:11
Some don't even get a chance to stand up against em because its not a physical
Okay we'll get away from the physical for a moment... If a person is sheltered and is lead to believ ehtat life is peaches and creams... and there are princesses and princes and all that jazz and the moment you have a child that knows better better and they start calling that child an idiot for believing what they belive.. who's fault is that?
Leviathan.Syagin
Server: Leviathan
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By Leviathan.Syagin 2012-06-20 12:07:24
btw forgive the grammer and typos idk what up w/ my page but I can only see 1/2 of the message screen of what im typing and im also at work typing quickly because this topic his my interested.
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By Valefor.Slipispsycho 2012-06-20 12:11:56
Words can be just as effective of a weapon as your fists can.
You can sit there and act like it's all the victim's fault since 'they're letting the words hurt them' but it's not that simple, nothing is as simple as you're trying to make it out to be.
Humans are complex, social creatures. People who spend all their time alone go crazy.. ANYTHING that outcasts you from the group as a whole, and puts that social interaction at risk, can have a serious impact.
Bismarck.Ramyrez
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By Bismarck.Ramyrez 2012-06-20 12:12:25
You're aware we're discussing ways to prevent the negative behavior, right?
We're not saying it doesn't happen. We're saying it is. And I think most of us have already agreed with you that you need to do what you can to not make yourself a target.
But at the same time, there are better steps that could be taken by parents, teachers and coaches that could help prevent bullying entirely.
You shouldn't have to deal with it. Yes, the sad reality is that many people do. And teaching your kids to deal with it is also important.
But the point we're making is that more could be done -- in constructive ways -- to prevent it from happening entirely.
Lakshmi.Flavin
Server: Lakshmi
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By Lakshmi.Flavin 2012-06-20 12:12:38
Some don't even get a chance to stand up against em because its not a physical Okay we'll get away from the physical for a moment... If a person is sheltered and is lead to believ ehtat life is peaches and creams... and there are princesses and princes and all that jazz and the moment you have a child that knows better better and they start calling that child an idiot for believing what they belive.. who's fault is that? That's a very narrow view... Also, it most cases it's not only one person... its that one person that gets everyone to turn on the victim... in some cases no matter what you teach your kid some aren't mentally equipped to handl that kind of abuse... we got little kids these days... pr-teens... comitting suicide because they can't handle it...
But we know you like to blame everyone but the bully for their actions lol... Oh the world is a tough place so get *** used to it and man up! some people just aren't equipped like that and some parents or environments are not conducive to the kid growing up in a positive enough environment... so basically you blame the parents and all you do is blame leaving the kid to suffer in the mean time...
Sylph.Kimble
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By Sylph.Kimble 2012-06-20 12:14:36
I have a feeling his kids are the bullies, lol.
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Leviathan.Syagin
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By Leviathan.Syagin 2012-06-20 12:26:20
Some don't even get a chance to stand up against em because its not a physical Okay we'll get away from the physical for a moment... If a person is sheltered and is lead to believ ehtat life is peaches and creams... and there are princesses and princes and all that jazz and the moment you have a child that knows better better and they start calling that child an idiot for believing what they belive.. who's fault is that? That's a very narrow view... Also, it most cases it's not only one person... its that one person that gets everyone to turn on the victim... in some cases no matter what you teach your kid some aren't mentally equipped to handl that kind of abuse... we got little kids these days... pr-teens... comitting suicide because they can't handle it... But we know you like to blame everyone but the bully for their actions lol... Oh the world is a tough place so get *** used to it and man up! some people just aren't equipped like that and some parents or environments are not conducive to the kid growing up in a positive enough environment... so basically you blame the parents and all you do is blame leaving the kid to suffer in the mean time... Going back to my original point... "It starts at home" My youngest is a crier and no matter what is said that is harsh she cries but over time it has gotten way better because I can chosse to cuddle and baby her because she is so cute and she feels bad or I can take that opporutunity to make point to her and teach her life lessons. I always go with option 2 and mentally she has gotten allot tougher and is able to handle verble abuse from other childeren now .. that's called fixing a problem not complaining about it.
Caitsith.Zahrah
Server: Caitsith
Game: FFXI
By Caitsith.Zahrah 2012-06-20 12:34:40
Ugh...Everyone gets "bullied" at some point in their lives. It's how you deal with it that reflects the kind of person you are. All kids are *** to each other at one point or another. Access, adapt, and overcome.
I think it was last month that one of my friends, who teaches in suburban Houston, had her wrist broken by some *** student of hers. Siding with the teacher on this one. Parents who don't discipline their kids in the house have mongrels for children. Simple as that, and it's not just students being "bullied" anymore.
Lakshmi.Flavin
Server: Lakshmi
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By Lakshmi.Flavin 2012-06-20 12:36:33
Some don't even get a chance to stand up against em because its not a physical Okay we'll get away from the physical for a moment... If a person is sheltered and is lead to believ ehtat life is peaches and creams... and there are princesses and princes and all that jazz and the moment you have a child that knows better better and they start calling that child an idiot for believing what they belive.. who's fault is that? That's a very narrow view... Also, it most cases it's not only one person... its that one person that gets everyone to turn on the victim... in some cases no matter what you teach your kid some aren't mentally equipped to handl that kind of abuse... we got little kids these days... pr-teens... comitting suicide because they can't handle it... But we know you like to blame everyone but the bully for their actions lol... Oh the world is a tough place so get *** used to it and man up! some people just aren't equipped like that and some parents or environments are not conducive to the kid growing up in a positive enough environment... so basically you blame the parents and all you do is blame leaving the kid to suffer in the mean time... Going back to my original point... "It starts at home" My youngest is a crier and no matter what is said that is harsh she cries but over time it has gotten way better because I can chosse to cuddle and baby her because she is so cute and she feels bad or I can take that opporutunity to make point to her and teach her life lessons. I always go with option 2 and mentally she has gotten allot tougher and is able to handle verble abuse from other childeren now .. that's called fixing a problem not complaining about it. That's not fixing a problem... that's putting a bandage over a wound lol... being able to handle it is good an all but the actual problem is the verbal abuse in the first place...
Phoenix.Ragmar
Server: Phoenix
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Posts: 127
By Phoenix.Ragmar 2012-06-20 12:37:25
I've never been bullied. I was a 4 sport letterman in high school for 4 years, so as you can imagine I had a lot of friends who did bully others. I saw it all the time and even tried to get my buddies to move on from dumb ***time from time. Fact is the only thing that stopped any of them was when they got caught and their dad tanned their ***. Hell I have a buddy who wanted to run away rather than face his dad after he got caught beating up an underclassman. His dad didn't abuse him he just gave him exactly what he had given the underclassman who was smaller than my buddy was smaller than his dad.
We're talking about 5 year olds here. But we're also talking about 5 year olds who have already developed antisocial behavior such as bullying. Having a class full of peers line up and hit you in the shoulder in respons to you doing something of a very similar nature seems pretty ok with me. There is a big difference between forcing someone to "see how it feels" vs just having a group of peers knock the ***out of him. Granted if the kid ate glue I wouldnt advocate his peers line up and thump him.
If this bullies parents stood by the school and told their kid this is what happens when you hit others how many more kids do you think this little bully would be hitting? Now that this bully has had his right to bully upheld by a dumb ***parent who never even knew their child would ever do a thing like this (aka wasnt paying any attention cause the ***isnt hard to see if you are willing to see it or even looking) and the school district how deterred do you think this little bully is now. Please they just validated his hitting others not only by not punishing him but by punishing those who stood against his behavior. Bravo.
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Lakshmi.Flavin
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By Lakshmi.Flavin 2012-06-20 12:41:08
You make an assumption that this kid has shitty parents... You actually have no idea what kind of home life he has lol...
Caitsith.Zahrah
Server: Caitsith
Game: FFXI
By Caitsith.Zahrah 2012-06-20 12:43:56
You make an assumption that this kid has shitty parents... You actually have no idea what kind of home life he has lol...
Shitty parents do exist though. One of my gal-pals had a second grade student who was still wearing diapers. Just saying...
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Lakshmi.Flavin
Server: Lakshmi
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By Lakshmi.Flavin 2012-06-20 12:45:10
You make an assumption that this kid has shitty parents... You actually have no idea what kind of home life he has lol... Shitty parents do exist though. One of my gal-pals had a second grade student who was still wearing diapers. Just saying... No doubt... but in this case he is making an assumption with no actual information...
Plus I think the 8 y/o wearing daipers is probably the one getting bullied...
Alexander.Sumo
Server: Alexander
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Posts: 592
By Alexander.Sumo 2012-06-20 12:46:28
I can't agree with Ragmar. Imagine if your child came home crying because his classmates beat up on him, at the age of 5 no less. All because this was sanctioned and organized by a teacher! Any decent parent would become a fire breathing, rage machine and march right up to the school and heads would roll. I know that if I were a parent I'd feel that way. While the teacher has a certain degree of authority when it comes to keeping other children safe, by no means does he/she have the right to undermine a parent's authority when it comes down to disciplining their own children. It's very possible that the parent's did not know of the bullying issue and were never contacted in regards to it. There are not enough facts to go around. What we do know is that this teacher went too far out of their jurisdiction and should not be allowed to teach in a public school system again.
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Server: Odin
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By Odin.Eikechi 2012-06-20 12:46:41
Shitty parents do exist though. One of my gal-pals had a second grade student who was still wearing diapers. Just saying...
Da fuq...?
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Server: Lakshmi
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Posts: 10394
By Lakshmi.Sparthosx 2012-06-20 12:52:11
You make an assumption that this kid has shitty parents... You actually have no idea what kind of home life he has lol...
Shitty parents do exist though. One of my gal-pals had a second grade student who was still wearing diapers. Just saying...
LOL
Sorry, but I just laughed out loud thinking of that. Your gal-pal needs an award for that level of parenting fail.
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Bismarck.Ramyrez
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By Bismarck.Ramyrez 2012-06-20 12:53:55
I want this teacher's methods to work.
They appeal to the primal need for eye-for-an-eye justice that I cannot shake. It's what I want to believe works.
But I just get the feeling it's the wrong way the whole way around.
Quetzalcoatl.Setsuai
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By Quetzalcoatl.Setsuai 2012-06-20 12:58:22
I have conflicting feelings about this. Bullying has been getting out of line a lot recently. I mean, almost every time I turn around, I hear about some kid getting bullied or some teen committing suicide because they couldn't take it anymore. I endured bullying myself, and know from experience that 'telling someone' doesn't help. If anything, it provokes further bullying and more torture. So I'm glad some teachers are finally taking initiative. But, I don't agree with the method she chose.
What she did to that kid will probably leave scars for the rest of his life, and that's probably far worse at that age than what he was doing to the other kid. I'm a mother of two myself, and my kids are fairly well behaved (for 6 and 7 year old boys). If I'd found out my kids were bullying someone in school, they would get a good old fashioned butt busting (i know some don't agree with this, but it kept me in line when I was younger, and as long as it doesn't go too far, I don't see the harm). And while a teacher has a right to punish my kids if they get out of line, what this one did crossed the line. If anything, it seems to encourage the concept of bullying.
There are so many different ways it could be dealt with. Put the kid in a different class. Sit him in a seat on the other side of the class room/cafeteria. Put him on a different recess schedule if it works that way. Sit him at the front of the bus. Tell the parents, regardless of whether they seem to be oblivious ornot. Don't give him detention. That does nothing. Straight out suspend him from school, or for repeat offenders, expel him. If the parents are that oblivious, surely him getting expeled will make them realize something is wrong with their little 'angel.'
sorry i realize this is probably 'tl;dr' but this kinda hit home.
Phoenix.Ragmar
Server: Phoenix
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Posts: 127
By Phoenix.Ragmar 2012-06-20 13:00:35
Mom was oblivious that her child was a bully or even displaying such aggressive behavior at all, seems like a shitty parent to me. hell even a lot of bad parents know their child is a *** up though they may not hold themselves accountable. This woman simply had no idea there was even a problem because she either refused to acknowledge it or wasnt paying any attention thats it.
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Server: Lakshmi
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By Lakshmi.Sparthosx 2012-06-20 13:01:52
I want this teacher's methods to work.
They appeal to the primal need for eye-for-an-eye justice that I cannot shake. It's what I want to believe works.
But I just get the feeling it's the wrong way the whole way around.
In this specific instance I feel the level of response from the teacher was appropriate for the 5 year old but I do feel that parents should have been notified before the teacher did what she did.
If you send your child to school then they had better be sociable and if they aren't then punishment should fit the crime. First time, parent gets a phone call and the opportunity to deal with it at home but after that? This specific punishment wasn't really even that bad and some kids would learn a valuable lesson from it. Astute teachers can do things like yoink juice boxes for water or deny participation in activities like watching videos or going out for recess.
Some children break the rules regardless of parental activity but in that case there should be a punishment appropriate to the crime. It's something I rather this kid learn at 5 than at 25 when they end up in the criminal justice system with no chance of recovery.
Leviathan.Syagin
Server: Leviathan
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Posts: 999
By Leviathan.Syagin 2012-06-20 13:04:08
Some don't even get a chance to stand up against em because its not a physical Okay we'll get away from the physical for a moment... If a person is sheltered and is lead to believ ehtat life is peaches and creams... and there are princesses and princes and all that jazz and the moment you have a child that knows better better and they start calling that child an idiot for believing what they belive.. who's fault is that? That's a very narrow view... Also, it most cases it's not only one person... its that one person that gets everyone to turn on the victim... in some cases no matter what you teach your kid some aren't mentally equipped to handl that kind of abuse... we got little kids these days... pr-teens... comitting suicide because they can't handle it... But we know you like to blame everyone but the bully for their actions lol... Oh the world is a tough place so get *** used to it and man up! some people just aren't equipped like that and some parents or environments are not conducive to the kid growing up in a positive enough environment... so basically you blame the parents and all you do is blame leaving the kid to suffer in the mean time... Going back to my original point... "It starts at home" My youngest is a crier and no matter what is said that is harsh she cries but over time it has gotten way better because I can chosse to cuddle and baby her because she is so cute and she feels bad or I can take that opporutunity to make point to her and teach her life lessons. I always go with option 2 and mentally she has gotten allot tougher and is able to handle verble abuse from other childeren now .. that's called fixing a problem not complaining about it. That's not fixing a problem... that's putting a bandage over a wound lol... being able to handle it is good an all but the actual problem is the verbal abuse in the first place... Since it is a bandge and your contantly providing one bully issue after the next.. because I have yet you read anything you have posted that you have actually does to help contribute to ending or reducing the bullying. What would you suggest? because i know for sure im playing my part.
Phoenix.Ragmar
Server: Phoenix
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Posts: 127
By Phoenix.Ragmar 2012-06-20 13:17:55
I want this teacher's methods to work.
They appeal to the primal need for eye-for-an-eye justice that I cannot shake. It's what I want to believe works.
But I just get the feeling it's the wrong way the whole way around.
Sadly because we live in a society without accountability where your actions may not get desired results but rapists arent raped for their crimes. Murderers are rarely murdered for theirs either. Society is so weak at executing punishment for ones actions its flat rediculous.
Lakshmi.Flavin
Server: Lakshmi
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Posts: 18466
By Lakshmi.Flavin 2012-06-20 13:18:01
Playing your part is to tell your kid to toughen up and take it?
Well you among others here have laid the blame at the feet of the parents... since we can't really control the parents and their methods we have to do something in the schools... There should be more opportunities provided for the students to get help if they are the victim and more programs available to educate and enlighten those that do the bullying.. Earlier you start the better... develop programs that help our kids... We tend to focus a lot on punishment and when it comes to bullying its a muddled line between free speech and causing harm to others... we need to focus more on ways to help kids...
I mean you talk about parents not being there for them so is a kid just ***out of luck if he's been cursed with bad parenting? hey you got shitty parents kid... you're SOL...
Lakshmi.Flavin
Server: Lakshmi
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Posts: 18466
By Lakshmi.Flavin 2012-06-20 13:22:15
I want this teacher's methods to work. They appeal to the primal need for eye-for-an-eye justice that I cannot shake. It's what I want to believe works. But I just get the feeling it's the wrong way the whole way around. Sadly because we live in a society without accountability where your actions may not get desired results but rapists arent raped for their crimes. Murderers are rarely murdered for theirs either. Society is so weak at executing punishment for ones actions its flat rediculous. It's that way because we aren't rapists or murderers... We're supposedly better than them...
As for accountability... Many people are held accountable for their actions... if you can prove their accountable... When it comes to young kids though its a different story for sure...
Edit: Also, our legal system is flawed... We've put innocent people in prison for crimes they did not commit... Just colateral damage though huh?
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Bismarck.Ramyrez
Server: Bismarck
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By Bismarck.Ramyrez 2012-06-20 13:35:22
I want this teacher's methods to work. They appeal to the primal need for eye-for-an-eye justice that I cannot shake. It's what I want to believe works. But I just get the feeling it's the wrong way the whole way around. Sadly because we live in a society without accountability where your actions may not get desired results but rapists arent raped for their crimes. Murderers are rarely murdered for theirs either. Society is so weak at executing punishment for ones actions its flat rediculous. It's that way because we aren't rapists or murderers... We're supposedly better than them... As for accountability... Many people are held accountable for their actions... if you can prove their accountable... When it comes to young kids though its a different story for sure...
You may both be misunderstanding me.
I know I'm at least a little wrong wanting an eye for an eye system. As someone (maybe one of you) pointed out; an eye for an eye truly does make the whole world blind.
I just have a very, very rigidly defined concept of justice in my head and it's always been a problem for me. It's got me in trouble; it's had me accused of actually being a bully myself, truth be told, because someone who kept stealing things from me (keeping this vague as otherwise it’s a long story) stole one too many things and I caught him and held him up – by his neck – against a wall daring him to do it again. (Actually, looking at it from an RPG standpoint, it was pretty cliché, big barbarian guy hold little pipsqueak thief up by the neck.)
Obviously that was the wrong way to handle the situation.
But it’s still the way I want it handled.
And part of me doesn’t care if the kid is traumatized if he’s already doing it to others.
I just want him to experience what he’s inflicting on other people.
Again. I know it's really not the right way to effect change.
But there's still something cathartic in it.
Leviathan.Syagin
Server: Leviathan
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Posts: 999
By Leviathan.Syagin 2012-06-20 13:36:27
Playing your part is to tell your kid to toughen up and take it? Well you among others here have laid the blame at the feet of the parents... since we can't really control the parents and their methods we have to do something in the schools... There should be more opportunities provided for the students to get help if they are the victim and more programs available to educate and enlighten those that do the bullying.. Earlier you start the better... develop programs that help our kids... We tend to focus a lot on punishment and when it comes to bullying its a muddled line between free speech and causing harm to others... we need to focus more on ways to help kids... I mean you talk about parents not being there for them so is a kid just ***out of luck if he's been cursed with bad parenting? hey you got shitty parents kid... you're SOL... Yet I have still not heard what role you have played to help your kid or help other kids protect themselves from bullying. personally i have not told my kid to toughen up I show her how to "toughen up". and it is benifiting her. programs are great and all but it's about as usefully as learn math at school and not going home to apply it... my point is if you think talking about it or teaching your kids to "talk it out" is the way to get over this issue your sadly mistaken. I have witnessed some sad events of kids getting pummled sadly the majority was white and till this day it still goes on and it happens in schools and it called "Krakker Day" messed up isn't it? and all it is is one person saying "it's ***** day" lets knock out the first one we see.
Alexander.Sumo
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By Alexander.Sumo 2012-06-20 13:41:31
I believe it to be true that you can only hold young children accountable for so much. They do not possess the wisdom or understanding that adults have and that's why we, as adults, need to do our best at helping them learn that understanding and knowledge. I don't understand why the mother is getting so much backlash for her "lack of parenting" in this case. She claims to have been ignorant about her son's actions at school, where keep in mind, she is not there to supervise. Isn't it at all possible that she truly didn't know and the teachers/school failed to notify her of her child's behavioral problems? There simply are not enough stated facts to make a legitimate case for or against her.
As for the argument on how to reduce/prevent bulling, let's be realistic. There will never be an end to bullying. Never. Just like there will never be an end of people thinking they are better than someone else. It is a human trait that we are all born with. We all are superior to someone else in our minds and I feel that's where a lot of bullying stems from. No matter the reason a person starts to bully, there will never be an end to the multiple causes. Some people are sheep, some are lions, and some are just plain ***.
Bismarck.Ramyrez
Server: Bismarck
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By Bismarck.Ramyrez 2012-06-20 13:42:57
Quote: I have witnessed some sad events of kids getting pummled sadly the majority was white and till this day it still goes on and it happens in schools and it called "Krakker Day" messed up isn't it? and all it is is one person saying "it's ***** day" lets knock out the first one we see.
Yeah. This just exemplifies what happens when you let violence and ignorance run rampant without intervention.
We're saying that something needs to be put in place to stop garage like this.
Yeah, it's hard to think of a title this late that will actually fit and is pertinent to the story.. Sue me <_<
Quote: Parents become furious when their children are being bullied at school, right? Well, some teachers become infuriated as well.
A Texas teacher apparently was fed up with the bullying at her school, so she ordered the kindergarten students to smack the classroom bully (Aiden).
“The teacher at a suburban San Antonio school is accused of orchestrating the slugfest after a younger teaching colleague went to her last month seeking suggestions on how to discipline the 6-year-old, according to a police report from the Judson Independent School District.”
Those two teachers at Salinas Elementary have been placed on paid administrative leave. However, the teacher who lined up those students to hit the bully will no longer work for that district.
Aiden’s mother said she had no idea her child was a bully. “Neely said her son is not a problem child and that this was the first she’d heard of teachers having issues with him. She said she wants to make sure the teacher who ordered the hitting does not work in a classroom again.” link
This story kinda leaves me at a loss, not the details, just I'm reminded of something and I'm conflicted.. I was bullied in school, I'm too quiet for my own good.. I'll leave it at that.
There are 3 different lines of thinking running through my head right now.
1. Probably the most important.. I fucking hate parents who say they didn't know.. I never buy that line. From experience as a kid myself and being a parent, if you really didn't know, then you need to be a better goddamn parent because it's not that hard to spot.. If you missed it, you probably just weren't looking hard enough (or refused to look for it to begin with).
2. Good for her. Not the decision I would have made, but you have to draw the line somewhere.. I've been there, schools teach you "just tell someone" but hell, that only makes things worse.. That whole line is bullshit and it's just meant to keep the school safe. It's their 'get out of jail free card'.. Could they take better preventive steps? You bet your ass they can.. There are any number of things that can be done. But hey, who cares, let's just give the bully detention for the 40th time, this year. Will they take those steps? No. Those steps cost money and they inconvenience the school officials, more forms to fill out at the end of the day and such. Not to mention every rule set fourth by the district, must be followed to the T, and every one ups the chances the principals and administrators are at a serious risk of losing their jobs.
3. If this were my kid, I would be pissed off royally.. My child isn't a bully, but he is still a trouble maker (he's one of those kids who never stop talking, never sit down, no matter what you do.. So as you can imagine, he gets in trouble in school a lot, and it is something we are both working diligently on correcting, rest assured he's not just getting the ignored and 'oh he'll grow out of it' type of treatment). He is my child, and he is quickly taking after me. STILL, it's not her place to dole out punishment as she sees fit. You can toss your teaching career in the trash and still have the same effect overall by simply (and completely silently) grabbing that child and putting them out of the classroom (at this age it would mean constant adult supervision, but it's not as if that would be hard to do..).
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