Random Thoughts.....What Are You Thinking?

:-( That sounds awful. I bet he grows up to be a great man, but right now, I'd say you have the patience of a saint for not snapping yet!

have you tried threatening him with it? if so, actually do it once, might embarrass him enough to make him behave.

also, ADHD?

Yeah, I'm not too keen on putting him on drugs.. I'm so *** up because my grandparents put me on drugs from about age 5.. I've been off them for many, many years and the damage is permanent.. I have constant muscle spasm and insomnia because of medicine I was put on when I was still a kid/teen.

Oh and threatening him with anything doesn't work.. He knows what happens if he screws up, and he still does it, threats don't work.. But hey, they didn't work with me either.. All the criminal ***I've done, I knew the threat of what could happen and did it anyways.

Right now I'm trying to be consistent and show him through action, that everything has consequences and get him to grasp that concept, I don't expect it to work overnight, but it doesn't seem as if it's working. I don't want to threaten him with punishment, I want him to understand that his actions have consequences.. I'm trying really hard, sometimes I just feel so lost x.x

Is it possible that he is not being challanged enough by his school work? Might be something you have already thought of but kids will act out sometimes if it is too easy for them. Don't feel too lost, the fact that you care puts you as being better off then alot of parents these days who just glue there kid to the tv and think they will learn on their own.

i understand what you mean about drugs, im a bit weary of them myself. but having ADHD myself and not having any form of treatment, i know from experience how extremely difficult some days can be. the only reason i'm able to keep up my grades this time around is the fear of failing out of school again, and if i do that i dont get a third chance.

i've read that a little amount of caffeine can help tremendously with focus and attention.

anyways, if thats working, then keep at it, im sure it'll get better in time.

He's already in advanced classes <_<;;;

He could count into the hundreds if not thousands by kindergarten.. Doesn't seem like that much of a challenge to us, because we just 'know'.. It's a simple concept, but he grasped it very early on.

Does he play any sports?

Nope, he doesn't really seem interested in sports though..

But even if he wanted to, we couldn't really fit that in the schedule.. Hell, he can't even really afford to get detention or anything.. Wife is the only one who can drive or pick him up, and she's generally working 8 to 4:30 everyday. The bus stop is only a block or two away. If for some reason he can't catch that bus, wife would literally have to leave work to go pick him up.

He seems more like me, I was never interested in sports, either.. I was interested in knowledge. He seems to just love learning.

keep it up bother! my eldest was/is having the exact same problems. I just tried very hard day after day to re-inforce causality. I also got her playing the violin. it's been 3 years since it all came to a head, & now I haven't been called into the school yet all year. it may not feel like it's working now, but stick to your guns, & he'll figure it out.

mine started with the *** at about age 6, she's getting it together now, age 9.

if you wanna BS, or vent to someone who's dealt with it, let me know

*edit*

I had the same problems with meds as well, so, ya, *** that. we seem to be kindred spirits or some shizzah

A music instrument is a good idea.

Mines 7, and pretty much started it at 7-ish.. Last year he was so good in school, it was a rare occurrence for the teacher to have anything negative in his little log thing.. This entire year has been almost nothing but negativity. Maybe a week or two total he's acted right, and that's being generous..

My parents are completely dysfunctional, and my grandparents aren't a whole lot better, I'm basically just on my own here.. I don't have a lot of wisdom or experience to turn to. I'm just employing common sense, mixed with the few things I did pick up that made sense..

But hey, not everyone just had advice and counseling to turn to.. back in the really old days, people had to raise their own kids off pretty much the same thing I have to go on.

EDIT: and as I guessed, today was no different.. He got a demerit.. I'm not really sure what that means <_< but it's not an everyday thing.

As much as I hate the concept of rewarding a snot nosed brat, I think if well crafted and articulated with a child, the idea of incentives for given behavior and actions can work out well for some kids. Unfortunately not all will respond to it, and will simply do as they wish regardless of rewards or outcome.

The only other idea I have is simply making his behavior work both ways. What goes around comes around simply put. If he doesn't listen or respond, you shouldn't respond or comply to his demands either. It's a mutual thing after all.

i always wish i could play the violin, but i have a small physical handicap that prevents me from playing and/or have difficulty with most string instruments

Girl sitting next to me in class: "Do you like the Ellen Degeneres Show?"

Me: "You mean her talk show?"

Her: "Yeah! Are you a fan?"

Me: "I've never seen an episode, so... no."

Her: "That's too bad. I love the show."

Me: "Y'know, I'm so old that I actually remember her original show."

Her: "You mean she had another talk show?"

Me: "No... it was a sitcom."

Her: "Really? Like... scripted?"

Me: "Yeah..." /feel reaaaaaaaaaaally old

He gets both, punished for bad behavior, rewarded for the good.

thats ok, i remember it too, and her big coming out episode

All I remember is her Stand Up..

with a stache that white you have to be old

I do too. Man, it was the biggest thing for like a month. That and Murphy Brown being a single mother.

Also what about his social life? Sometimes "aggressive behaviour"(so to speak)is directed at one thing but has roots in others(bullies, isolation, or whatever).

What was that, sonny? Say it louder into this here listenin' horn.

I gotta run to my bid letting, but seriously, if you need someone to bounce ideas off, or w/e, I'm availible. I know how it feels to try to raise kids with little to no help. I'm not a super-dad or a genius or anything, but I can relate, & it sounds like I'm a year or two ahead of you in child-rearing, could be helpful. anyway, just throwing out the offer, I don't expect you to do anything either way.

bbl, peace in the middle east

I'm 21 and I remember her sitcom lol

Slip, does he have the same teacher as last year? Or is this a new one?

His social life is pretty much restricted to school, and home.. We don't live in the type of neighborhood where kids run free.. It's not absolutely limited to these two, but it might as well be, and there's not a lot that can be done about that..

I'm not actually sure.

Well I meant more school-life interactions, but I wouldn't know how much these things can affect him. Just throwing out ideas.

If he has a teacher he doesn't like / care for then it could be a large factor.

Ahhh I'd almost forgotten how old Mag was. Good thing I have his eulogy planned out now.

Indeed. The teacher makes a world of difference even if you already are excelling at the subject at hand. How they present and articulate the curriculum, as well as how they treat their students can be the difference between an A+ and an F even if you understand what you're doing.