http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Final_Fantasy_XI
Dont click this link if you dont wanna get trolled.
Final Fantasy XI is a MMORPG, which means you'll be playing online with thousands of basement dwellers as lonely as you are. Even though there are female characters running around, no actual women play this game. The core of the gameplay is waiting.
You start off your adventure by making a character in the shitty character creator.
You then run around a big *** town not knowing where the hell you are.
You find the big gate and start killing 100s of small defenseless creatures until you're level 10.
Now you want to join a group because you can't kill anything yourself.
Type "LFG" over 9000 times until you have everyone in a party except a white mage.
Wait 6 hours for a white mage to show up. (this guy will probably be a Jap so you wont know what the hell he says.)
HOW 2 MAEK BONUS POINTS: While waiting, mess around with the in-game English->Japanese translator and say clever things like: <Human> <Male> <Inside> <Human> <Female> <Rear> <Joy> <Hole> <Can I have it?> <Yes, please>. These points can accumulate even further for more intricate combos: <Are you alone?> <jerkin><meat>? <stop!> <You can have this><fantasy> <Mithra> <date> <sale>! <Hand><Job>5000<gil>, <Subtle blow><Job> 10 000 <gil>, <Rear> <enter> <excitement> 50 000<gil>
Blow your hard-earned jewgold at the town's Auction House on an item that turns out to be crap. AND! At later levels: Enjoy never being able to get a group because some *** elitists want you to piss all over that 1.3 million gil item you just bought and substitute it for crappy artifact armor! :D
Wait even longer for some random *** boat to transport you to some ***desert.
Find a spot where no one else's party is and pray to god random monsters don't follow you.
A random monster wipes your party (fun, right?)
Everyone re-spawns and gets back to the area you were at.
Some ugly *** monster comes up to your party and you kill it. SUCCESS!
On the next pull they get two monsters. OH TEH NOES!
White mage uses SUPER DUPER POWER. and the monsters kill him.
Party is wiped. You go down a level.
The 13 year old in the party has to go eat or some ***.
Party disbands.
????
PROFIT
Final Fantasy XI also operates under a system where the bunny rabbit you fight will occasionally have a scouter-breaking power level and wipe your entire team out, making you level down. On top of that there are Notorious Monsters who look no different than any other humpbacked sheep you fight, but is over 9000 times stronger and drops a ukulele 99% of the time. Some of them drop rare items about 0.5% of the time that are useful, but they're camped by Japanese gilfarmers 24 hours a day. Since Final Fantasy XI is very party focused, you'll have to make sure your guy is in tip top shape so you'll be chosen over the other disgusting bags of meat wasting away in their basement. Because of this, you'll constantly need to farm money in order to buy that disgustingly plain looking sword you want or another ugly-*** jerkin that'll give you a +1 to your inability to get the *** off Final Fantasy XI and go outside. Since money is hard to come by, and the price for your Brass Bikini+5 is gouged on the Auction House, purchasing new gear can take at least 100 years.
Recently Square has made the the game more appealing to wowfags with features like "Level Sync" and exp reward increases on monsters - making it possible for people to actually enjoy playing this game instead of the faggy card thing from FF8/9.
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