Quitters, A Serious Question, Please

Sloth. People greatly understimate this thing which is incredibly subtle and dangerous for one's life. It's not just being lazy, but being content with something that in truth isn't so fine for you. It's like being in a cocoon, sure it's nice and everyone needs to retract in it sometimes, but at some point you need to drag yourself out of it. Just cause something feels comfortable doesn't mean you have to remain in it, for example:

would it be ok to lay in bed all day everyday? Sure you might like to do it once in a while on a sunday but not for life. Whilst that is an extreme example the routine that lacks any kind of excitement is the same though, it's the sloth that just calls you back to repeat the boring yet comforting same old things.

It can take a lot of effort to get out of that(can be borderline depression basically), but it's important to do. Now, not all things work the same way for all people, each has different buttons, for me biggest advice I can give you is set goals, having concrete objectives to pursue can help a big deal to move forward. Like if you wanna study, set daily objectives and reward yourself with sorta achievement points, it sounds stupid I know but it makes something abstract(pursuing a degree that is many years away) much more concrete(lemme check my spreadsheet and daily progress) which is what a mmo have made you used to over the years.

I could post 10 pages of why all of those are no-go's for me. but I'll spare the typing.

The ah comment, yeah that's good for maybe 24 hours, but come tomorrow this thread will have fallen into internet obscurity and truth be told it's not entertaining in the least to have people completely ignore what you write, and argue with you out of context. A rational conversation is so much better. IE, this last page (most of it).

Anyone else as stated previous comes down to "Y U NO WORK MAMAS BASEMENT NECKBEARD!" How do you even argue that, better yet why even bother reading it.

But really no one can tell you what to do with your time, only you know can know what is right for yourself.

I could tell people writing is awesome but then someone might find it extremely boring to sit there with pen and paper.

I could tell people soccer is fun and they would be all nuu I don't like balls.

You can't find answers about your desires, need to explore stuff on your own.

I'm just asking for what other people do, to possibly find something that sounds appealing. That's literally the point of the post.

I've done so many things already, Something new was what I was hoping to discover, or have been enlightened to. Like when I got turned onto geology, that was new and amazing, (for a couple months). And then I got complacent.

Sehachan's advice on setting goals is probably the best thing you can take away from this. Because it seems your subject to burnout, you need to have something always off in the horizon to keep working toward.

From my totally qualified from reading your posts for less than ten minutes psychoanalytical perspective, you live a little short-sighted.

Judging from your severe social wall I doubt much would work out. I'll give the same advice I'm trying to get a move on with my life. Try seeing a shrink, it might help. Also this is in no way trying to insult you, your posts seriously sound like something I would think and maybe post myself if I was in a sleep deprived state where my self control was depleted.

A lot of things I do, is to excess. I find something of value, HAM it to death, and never want to see it again.

Yes, that's EXTREMELY shortsighted. Can't be helped. On to the next thing.

Gonna go see the doc, maybe I can get some fukitol.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSJ8tvdM-FM

Well then, it's painfully obvious you aren't seeking advice, you're just seeking validation for the compulsion.


This is a very toxic attitude and feeds the compulsion mentality of "Being too far gone."

You can Coulda, Shoulda and Woulda your entire life into a meaningless heap.

If that's the way you see it, then you're right, not going to convince you that you're wrong (you are).

As always, ends up being a fruitless topic, not that I had high hopes, but some.

Tl;dr but my answer to your question is drugs... Lots of drugs pharmisudicals are the best ;)

Troll the forums like everyone else that quits ffxi.

I quit playing most summers as I have next to no extra time with work as well as the fact THE SUN IS SHINING and I just witnessed 6 months of white crap on the ground. Staying busy with work, family and friends.

Like many folks who do not enjoy winter sports or snow/cold in any other way, a majority of the family hobbits in the winter which is also when I play FFXI. Most winters I do not work which leaves me home with little to do since the kids are all in school and the wife works a 9-5 M-F. However this winter I am considering joining a plow and snow removal team since if this coming winter is anything like last winter I know a hand full of guys who made a killing $$$ doing it.

I started playing games I had ignored for years, started FFXIV, and...well...you know. *points up*

This time of year? Fantasy Football, The Pool/boat/lake, The Gym, and Golfing. I usually quit FFXI, not because I have better things to do off-line, but because I run out of things to do ONline.
Quit for 3 months, come back for 1, get caught up, quit for 3, play for 1, rinse, repeat.

Here's a novel idea: stop making excuses, grow a set and live your life.

I've experienced similar boredom but the problem is within you. Maybe go see a shrink, not everyone is able to kick their own *** through their issues like I can.

edit: I still have the habit of not trying too many new games and replaying favorite classics, but between life and that, I'm pretty busy.

ever thought of restoring a classic car?

You realize a good 70% of the people who play are crazy weirdos? This is not the place to ask for advice lol. Just play a different game.

You know, for someone who is making a point of soliciting advice, you aren't very good at inducing people to give it.

That said, I'd hate to be one of your "trolls" so I'll give it my best shot. I think you have quite the quandary. Like everyone else on this thread, I don't have any magic pills. I can relate my story situation, and can hope you can glean something from it, and that's about it.

I started XI in late 2009. I was in the military, and the groups of friends I tend to make and the type of people to play MMOs overlap. I knew I had an addictive personality, and I knew it was a terrible idea, but my new friends all played XI, and I wanted to be part of it. I threw myself into the game and went about catching up. It wasn't really out of obligation, when your real life friends play, just about anything can be pretty Goddamned fun.

Over time, my account surpassed any of the RL friends I started with. Over the years, each RL friend quit the game, but I kept playing. I discovered AH early on, and as my post count grew, people started transferring to play on my server. The game stayed fun even though real people weren't playing right beside me anymore. My account was eventually banned, our group migrated to TERA until we realised it was terrible, and some of us made new accounts. It wasn't long until my new account was better than my old one. I was pretty addicted.

In the background: I got out of the army maybe 9 months after I started. I had a ton of money from deployments, and did nothing for about 5 months before starting college. I got through 2 years of community college pre-nursing and then 2 years of Nursing school. My GPA was high, but it would have been higher without FFXI.

Matsui and ilevel came out shortly before I graduated nursing school, I believe. I raged pretty hard when I realized

A. My 99 emps were in for a serous downgrade
B. There was no way Matsui's crew could replace the amount of content they obseleted.

My posts on the subject are perusable, I suppose. Like you, I was playing largely out of obligation to my friends at that point, even as some of the people I had the most fun playing with, Flion, Novax, Wulfshadow, Stab, etc. drifted away from the game.

I think what got me out of the game was threefold.

A. Nursing plays hourly, with staffing shortages and ample opportunity for overtime. Working 12 hours a day, 5-7 days a week, you can accrue an immense amount of money once shift differentials and overtime are factored in. One of the things I love about my job is that with hourly pay, time/effort directly correlate with reward. (Much like FFXI!)

B. I have long term goals. I have a reason for accruing money. I want to go to nurse anesthesia school. For that, I need certifications, and a large pile of money, assuming I want to go through school debt free, as I've done so far. If I didn't have that carrot in front of me, I don't think I could make myself keep picking up shifts and ditching the game. I think that there's not really a way to be truly happy. When we get something we want, our brain rewards us with that squirt of dopamine. Our brain won't squirt dopamine full-time though, short of drug use (and that doesn't work out well in the end, either :/), so we soon return to baseline levels of happiness. There is only the reaching for what we want, and the anticipation, to sustain us. Once I'm a nurse anesthetist, I suppose I'll have to find something else to reach for. I think current goals are keeping me busy for a while, though :)

C. Matsui ruined the game. He took value out of the items we spent years making with a few lines of code. Even if he restored everything to the way it was, I just can't make myself grind away for things I know will almost certainly be replaced. If FFXI had stayed in nearly any era other than the Matsui/iLevel era, I'm not sure I could have torn myself away.

There were assorted other factors. A lot of our group replaced XI with Dark Souls, and we all kind of helped each other through that game. It makes really great methadone to FFXI's heroin. We still occasionally chat in our Skype group, but the weekends of sadistic glee at taking someone else's NM look to be behind us. I think playing other, smaller-scale games together before drifting apart eased the transition.

All of that said, I've still got your essential dilemma. I'm still often bored out of my mind on my days off. Barring a very unlikely major turnaround, neither of us are ever going to have the vibrant social life that takes up such a large amount of Other People's Time. If I couldn't work as often as I wanted, I'd likely go back. If nothing else, FFXI is Something To Do.

If you are determined to quit, the only thing I think works is to give yourself a long term goal that demands huge quantities of time and dedication and provides ample tangible reward, and cling to it like a pit bull. Be it the gym, higher education, writing a novel, making music or any other creative endeavors, learning languages, earning certifications in your job and becoming undisputedly the best at what you do, you've got to have something to work toward. If you can't fill your time with something that acts as a carrot to make you expend your time and energy, then nothing will get you off XI short of the servers shutting down.

I don't think either one of us will ever truly be happy. Achievement is the only thing either of us really have to strive for.

I love the fact that I just completely validated this while not realizing Draylo posted it.

I would like to do this, I have my grandpa's 1947 Willys CJ-2a I'd like to restore, and would also like to restore a 1966 Mustang to be a daily driver. I love Mustangs.

the 67 fastback has to be truly my fav of the mustang lines personally and im not into american cars im more of an import guy myself either that mustang or a 72 skyline would be awesome as well

I have a thing for the 66 coupe. It has the interior of 64 1/2 & 65, but was the first year of certain Mustang-only details, like the cluster, prior to 66 the Mustang used the Falcon cluster, I think there were also slight alterations to the exterior from 66 to 67, though 67 through...72, I think, have their own charm to them.

Dat Vintage burgundy.

Basically everything a healthy, normal, functioning person should be doing.

You heard the man(?)! Find a squirrel, cut off it's head and glue it to your ***, then run around naked at a local elementary school with a raging-semi bellowing crude phrases in Portuguese.

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

can always take up binge drinking

Hey Pantafernando, you know what? I found someone that can create wall of text better than me :DDDD

You can always polish your sniper rifle and start hunting the people that outlotted you in various runs

You are asking this question in the wrong place. That being said, if FFXI isn't affecting your life negatively, why do you absolutely NEED to quit? Not everything that we do has to be constructive. If you enjoy playing, and your life outside of the game is acceptable to you, then there's no pressing need to quit.

I started playing this game on October 28th, 2003. My life was very different then, and XI was more of an escape from IRL problems. I played regularly (maybe excessively) until right after WotG, then I found myself in a situation where I just couldn't play any more due to building a house, longer commute, etc. so I moved to other games (not MMOs). In 2009, I had yet another shift, and played WoW obsessively for several months, again to escape IRL problems with my marriage and life situation. But in 2010 I met my now-wife, and we began playing WoW together when we couldn't see each other due to schedules. This continued into 2011, when we decided to marry and have a child, and I introduced her to a greatly-changed FFXI. She fell in love with the game, and I did again as well, so we left the disaster that was Cataclysm.

I don't play XI now as an escape, because I fixed most of what I hated in my life before, went back to earn my BS, jettisoned negative influences, and found happiness in myself. Finding another person who makes me happy didn't hurt either, lol. My wife and I don't play every day, but we do play regularly, and not just FFXI, but also FFXIV, Guild Wars 2, and occasionally even WoW. For us it's a bonding and recreational activity which strengthens our marriage, even though we do bicker while we play, to the delight (or dismay) of our lsmates. Sometimes XI is still an escape, but it's on the micro scale, like "man today sucked at work, let's kill stuff!".

Like I said, if you are happy with your life outside of Final Fantasy XI, why quit if the game is still fun to you? Don't feel pressured one way or another.