So what do we do when it's Kali's birthday?
we post in her birthday thread...
duh
ok...
Something kali posted in RT triggered
the alice in wonderland protocol in some long forgotten and seldom used memory chip seated on a dusty old expansion board... you know, back when they made motherboards boards with open sockets to add memory in...
we're talking about ancient pre-pc computer architecture built/pieced together with obsolete components scavenged off recycled electronics from the voyager probe which uses a program nobody remembers writing.
/play gold record
<movietone news broadcaster's voice>
Almost fifty years ago small unwanted automatons were placed in front of a television screen for visual downloading of the universal operating instructions and procedures but unfortunately the download program was never written. the television channel kept changing between five competing stations so instead of a complete and functioning operating system you have a hodge podge of spagetti westerns, old kung fu movies, godzilla movies, cartoons, war movies, bad tv shows, children's programming and commercials that were probably racist
YouTube Video Placeholder
Most of these poorly programmed and malfunctioning robots were melted down to extract their various precious metals but some of the idiot savant type Nikolce models were tasked with complicated repair functions normal humans could never hope to master.
A new program "the disassembling and reassembling of evil machines for the destruction of mankind" was then downloaded along with a library of electronic schematics, flow charts, troubleshooting guides and an almost endless stream of electronic gibberish...and for twenty five years rebuilt evil machines in diabolical american factories.
Then they closed all the factories and moved them somewhere else.
Old, obsolete, rusty and missing several key components Nikolce now spends several hours a day answering technical questions posed by idiots over a new invention called the internet. Which, in an unfortunate set of highly illogical events and circumstances beyond our control, he also discovered ffxiah.
but something is wrong with the ffxiah interface... questions do not follow his work protocol and so instead of simply answering questions, as he was programmed to do, he reacts to stimulus posted by other ffxiah users and generates nonsensical responses.
YouTube Video Placeholder
error code 55 reboot sequence in progress please stand by....
YouTube Video Placeholder
thank you for your patience....and Thank you for contacting evil enterprises your concerns are important to us...
Unfortunately there is no way to recall how the protocol was activated, predict when others will be triggered, what other programs are affected, or how long the programs will run for.
Since he runs mostly in the background on the forums and is simply ignored by most of the users. He was probably left alone here by scragg as a curiosity...a reminder of old technology that once amused him as a child
end of line