Are You Ready For (drumroll) The Wankband?

Language: JP EN DE FR
New Items
2023-11-19
users online
Forum » Everything Else » Chatterbox » Are you ready for (drumroll) the wankband?
Are you ready for (drumroll) the wankband?
 Garuda.Chanti
Offline
Server: Garuda
Game: FFXI
user: Chanti
Posts: 11117
By Garuda.Chanti 2015-03-01 10:16:34
Link | Quote | Reply
 
Wankband is first gadget that harnesses the energy of masturbation Metro UK



Quote:
The energy crisis could be over – after Pornhub tapped into one of the world’s great unused reservoirs of energy.

Yep – the furious wrists of internet masturbators, many of whom are (of course) glued to Pornhub.

Ever keen to stay classy, Pornhub has called their gizmo the ‘Wankband’.

The site urges users to ‘Create dirty energy,’ by wearing the Wankband while, ah, self-pleasuring – and has urged users to come up with their own ideas using the hashtag #wankband.

The wrist-mounted gadget contains a kinetic charger that can be used to power up gadgets such as iPhones.
Offline
Posts: 35422
By fonewear 2015-03-01 10:26:15
Link | Quote | Reply
 
If only people could use money and creativity for something worthwhile !
[+]
Forum Moderator
Offline
Server: Excalibur
Game: FFXIV
user: AnnaMolly
Posts: 25981
By Anna Ruthven 2015-03-01 10:31:45
Link | Quote | Reply
 
....
[+]
Offline
Posts: 35422
By fonewear 2015-03-01 10:34:02
Link | Quote | Reply
 
The only thing this is missing is a Huff Post source !
 Valefor.Sehachan
Guide Maker
Offline
Server: Valefor
Game: FFXI
user: Seha
Posts: 24219
By Valefor.Sehachan 2015-03-01 11:02:00
Link | Quote | Reply
 
Actually this could be genius for females. If it can power a vibrator it could make it self-sustaining without needing batteries.

...maybe.
[+]
 Shiva.Onorgul
Offline
Server: Shiva
Game: FFXI
user: Onorgul
Posts: 3618
By Shiva.Onorgul 2015-03-01 11:21:18
Link | Quote | Reply
 
From what I can tell, it should react to a lot more than 5 minutes of vigorous wrist exercise. I lift and throw boxes and palettes for hours a day and I can seriously imagine keeping my phone well-charged if I had one of these. Not that I keep every app on my phone actively running to be in any danger of it expending all its charge in a workday, anyhow.
Offline
Posts: 35422
By fonewear 2015-03-01 11:40:03
Link | Quote | Reply
 
If we want to 'create dirty energy' we can just continue to burn coal am I right hippies ?
Offline
Posts: 27938
By Fyyvoaa 2015-03-01 11:43:44
Link | Quote | Reply
 
[+]
Offline
Posts: 35422
By fonewear 2015-03-01 11:44:43
Link | Quote | Reply
 
Don't laugh Obama is planning on spending a billion dollars to fund this !
 Bahamut.Milamber
Offline
Server: Bahamut
Game: FFXI
user: milamber
Posts: 3691
By Bahamut.Milamber 2015-03-01 12:10:34
Link | Quote | Reply
 
Shiva.Onorgul said: »
From what I can tell, it should react to a lot more than 5 minutes of vigorous wrist exercise. I lift and throw boxes and palettes for hours a day and I can seriously imagine keeping my phone well-charged if I had one of these. Not that I keep every app on my phone actively running to be in any danger of it expending all its charge in a workday, anyhow.

I can't.
Without going into the details of how much energy you use for loading boxes, we can simplify the matter simply by looking at caloric intake for weight maintenance.

An iPhone 5S battery has about 1440mAh, at 3.8V.
If you are maintaining weight at 2kcal/day, that corresponds to roughly 2.326Wh, which would give you 612mAh at 3.8V (2.326*1000/3.8). Or not quite half.

If you did nothing other than convert food to electrical energy, (at 100% efficiency) you would need to be eating along the lines of about 5kcal per day, to completely charge the battery.

The supposed discharge time for usage is roughly 10 hours, we'll bump it up to 12 for ease of calculation. Your shift time is probably somewhere between 6 and 12 hours, so we keep it at the boundary zone.

As a basis for the example, if we take the 5kcal/day number, and evenly divide it through the day, you'd be back to about 300-600mAh per shift, at 100% efficiency.

Now, let's look at that efficiency number. Let's assume the body is extremely good at converting caloric energy into mechanical energy (90%) rate, and that the band is very good at converting mechanical energy into electrical energy (75%). We're already looking at about 68% efficiency of the system, so you are looking at about 200-400mAh as an upper bound.

Except we are looking at caloric consumption of the body, not of the exercise itself. And the exercise is highly dependent on the mass of the item moved plus the mass of the individual, whereas the charging capacity is highly dependent on the mass of the charger itself and the relative motion(let alone if it is specific with regards direction).

And that doesn't go into the efficiency losses in the charger charging a battery, to charge another battery.

To put it broadly, I'd be surprised to see a design that could capture more than 50mAh in a day, and store more than 200mAh total. At that point, you could argue that it could serve as an emergency powerbank for your phone, in case you needed to charge it from being dead.
Offline
Posts: 35422
By fonewear 2015-03-01 12:13:17
Link | Quote | Reply
 
Instead of making a wank band why not focus on making batteries better for phones.
 Leviathan.Chaosx
Offline
Server: Leviathan
Game: FFXI
user: ChaosX128
Posts: 20284
By Leviathan.Chaosx 2015-03-01 12:15:07
Link | Quote | Reply
 
fonewear said: »
Instead of making a wank band why not focus on making batteries better for phones flying cars.
This ^
[+]
 Valefor.Sehachan
Guide Maker
Offline
Server: Valefor
Game: FFXI
user: Seha
Posts: 24219
By Valefor.Sehachan 2015-03-01 12:15:27
Link | Quote | Reply
 
Bahamut.Milamber said: »
At that point, you could argue that it could serve as an emergency powerbank for your phone, in case you needed to charge it from being dead.
Emergency.
The situation is dramatic.
They need to call for help asap but the phone is dead.
"HOLD ON GUYS I GOT THIS!" *unzips*
Offline
Posts: 35422
By fonewear 2015-03-01 12:18:00
Link | Quote | Reply
 
The fact that this will probably warrant more pages than an ISIS discussion is both troublesome and expected !
 Bahamut.Milamber
Offline
Server: Bahamut
Game: FFXI
user: milamber
Posts: 3691
By Bahamut.Milamber 2015-03-01 12:27:50
Link | Quote | Reply
 
Valefor.Sehachan said: »
Bahamut.Milamber said: »
At that point, you could argue that it could serve as an emergency powerbank for your phone, in case you needed to charge it from being dead.
Emergency.
The situation is dramatic.
They need to call for help asap but the phone is dead.
"HOLD ON GUYS I GOT THIS!" *unzips*
More that it is something that you constantly have on, that you could then charge using the stored energy from several days of passive collection.
I very much doubt it could provide a steady 5V charge with any meaningful amperage directly from generation.
 Leviathan.Chaosx
Offline
Server: Leviathan
Game: FFXI
user: ChaosX128
Posts: 20284
By Leviathan.Chaosx 2015-03-01 12:29:54
Link | Quote | Reply
 
Masturbate yourself to energy independence. Sounds legit.
[+]
Offline
Posts: 35422
By fonewear 2015-03-01 12:38:06
Link | Quote | Reply
 
I'm sure the feminists will eat this up. Who needs a man when you can masturbate the patriarchy away !
Offline
Posts: 35422
By fonewear 2015-03-01 12:39:03
Link | Quote | Reply
 
Leviathan.Chaosx said: »
Masturbate yourself to being alone and desperate at 40 . Sounds legit.

Prove me wrong people !
Log in to post.