Good Excuse(s) To Leave Work Early

Or... my friend in Vana'diel aggro'ed a ton of evil linking bunnies that are ripping him apart... i gotsta save him!

statistically speaking, tuesday is the most productive day of the week.

i'm at work, on ur internetz.

the thing about working in the caribbean is you could work just 1 day a week and still be more productive than ANY local. i just scored a grocery store remodel job for my company AND you forgot to put a cover sheet on your TPS report. winning.

Gucci Prada DG

Hopefully they are paying you even though you are on standby.

I'm in Accounts Receivable for a company and i ended april reducing the "over 90 days past due" by about $600,000. I'm a happy camper who is looking forward to his video game filled weekend.

^ this

Much better, I was preparing to launch into the party pooper song.

I'm already the resident screwball, if I start babbling about Vanadiel they are liable to fire the net cannon at me.

The quoted post is full of win.

I was eating some mexican food and i accidentally ate some Las Plagas....

Working from home could solve your problem.

If Gasoline keeps getting more and more expensive, they'll probably at least let us work some days at home. I worked at home a lot January - March because of the Snowpocalypse.

"I need to meet with *insert local University here*'s academic adviser to go over my curriculum about some night courses I plan to be taking."

You could probably push this a few times.

Dentist/ eye-doctor appointment can be used once each every six months or so.

I recently told my boss that my friend's car broke down and he couldn't afford the tow. Stuff like that is believable and easy, but, also must be used sparingly.

Stuff that always works is pretty limited. When I was younger I got chest pains from a minor heart problem every once in a while. I milked that pretty good in order to get out of classes in high school.

Depends what your conscience-to-laziness ratio is.

"I have a bone in my leg."

I've been working for over thirty years, my ability to suck it up has drastically diminished over time. I invent things like self replicating label systems that no one else can dream up but yes any company would fire anyone for any reason if they thought they could get someone better for a little less money. Your berserk loyalty is unfortunately worth suprisingly little.

So you can keep your nose to the grindstone if you want to. But I see a ray of sunshine after months of winter and weeks of rain and I am going for it.

Also, I think ash's "soiled undies" excuse is a goldmine I can perfect with a can of ***spray. <insert diabolical laugh here>

Yeah... i guess i'm somewhat on the jaded side too, after my previous job which i had for 2 years (doing accounts receivable/credit analysis) my team and i turned the company around so it started being profitable again... and then they sold the company and we all got laid off.

I do like where i work now though. But i'd rather be a multi-millionaire and make sure my parents and siblings are provided for, as well as my friends, and play video games and work on other things on my omega things to do list.

and to the OP... for some reason i find your sense of humor rather amusing. (other threads too)

Thank you, my upbringing was rather horrific, painfully repressive and belt~tastically strict. I use humor to dull the pain :D

Just tell him you need to go bail your brother (or other family member, could try friend, but it might not fly as easily as family would) out of jail. Would work better for really large cities than small ones, so if you live/work in a small one, but live next to a big one, say he's in the big city jail. It can take hours to get out once someone shows up with the paperwork and ***, at least from a big city jail.. Small towns get you out far more quickly, so that's why this would work better for a large city.

The penguins have escaped from the freezer.

Best excuse I ever heard to ditch a party without warning.

Just tell them, "One hand washes the other and both washes the face." Then they'll be all like:



Boom. Day off.

I agree with that.

Let's say after months and months of boring work... your wife calls one day and is obviously thinking kinky stuff and tries to entice you to come home early or take a long lunch. Are you going to tell her, "Sorry honey, have to work today and my boss won't like it if I skip off work for too long." or "I'll see you at noon ;)"

You're a human being, not some machine. The moment you value your work more than the real things in your life is the moment you've sold your soul.

Work is important, I won't deny that. But what's more important? A bigger/faster car that you can show off to people or the freedom of time to do the things/with the people you enjoy.

Spend all your life paying for things you have no time to enjoy or have all the freedom of time but nothing to have fun with. Hopefully people can find a sensible balance between these two.

LOL

depending on what kind of job you have is mainly with how much you can get away with (and how much stress you get), not to mention your relationship with your boss.

if/when i plan to take a day off, or leave work early, i usually make sure crap doesnt come back and bite me in the ***, organizing paperwork, and making sure everything is in order before leaving, usually working double-time (not overtime, just twice as fast) the day before or the day after to make up for my absence.

just because they hired me, doesnt mean I have to slave away to them. I work by the hour, I get paid when Im here, I dont get paid when im not, simple as that; heck, its way worst screwing around at work and getting paid for than actually leaving and doing it on your own time, off company property.

as for what do i tell my boss?
"hey, im not feeling good, can i take off early?"
"hey, something came up, personal stuff i need to attend to, can i take off early? (can I leave by xx:xx time?)"
"hey, ima go meet this girl early, can i go?"
"ima save the company some money, can i go home early?"

usually followed by: "is there anything you need done before i leave?"
granted, i usually take off early once a month or 2, and my boss doesnt mind, since he knows i get the job done.

LOLOLOL+1

It's a good thought, however my brother visits me occasionaly. Please keep in mind lies are difficult to remember and relying on accomplices is tricky. It's possible the brother in said ploy would need to acknowledge said jail stint at some point in the future.

Try to think of things anyone can use... well, anyone but the lackeys of the bourgeoisie that keep telling me to stfu and get back to work.

Again this approach may lead to guys in white jump suits with net cannons hauling me off to the funny farm for longer than have vacation days saved up for. But tyvm.

"My grandmother fell down the stairs and landed on the dog.
BRB, checking on the dog"

Well do you work around blades or anything dangerous? You could take it a step past just lying and like drop something really heavy on your foot go home with a broken foot/toe, or you could cut the hell out of yourself and need to go to the hospital.

BTW it doesn't have to be your brother you say you're getting from jail, it can be anyone really, but they'd be more likely to let you go do it if it's family than if it's just a friend. If you don't want them to have to become an accomplice, then just pick some random (but closely related) family member who would NEVER show up there or anywhere where you and your boss might be together. Oh and don't give the person's name unless asked for, that way if all of you ever do run into each other and the boss asks "That the cousin that you had to get out of jail?" you can just say "No, it's a different one".

Or you could try this:
You: Hey, I need to get off work early, any way you can swing that?
Boss: For what reason?
You: To go bang your wife in your own bed.
Boss: ...Son, you had better watch what you say to me.
You: (Burst out laughing) Nah I'm just kidding, I'm actually going to go home and play video games.
Boss: ..(Now he bursts out laughing) Good one! Sure have at it.

A good liar isn't someone who can think up lies on the fly, it's someone who can make believable stories with enough details that it doesn't sound purposefully vague, and then keep the lie straight.

Kids: The never ending supply of excuses for basically anything.

"Work to Live not Live to Work" take the day off but be honest about it like...."Hey Mr/Mrs ??? Im not feelin it today can I leave early?" usually would get a better reaction than to a somewhat obvious ruse